5 minutes before bed

i bought tulips. closed at first with a suggestion of their soon to be blooms. they are gently opening up. a new born bud! Today thay are such tender, femme beauties, with relentless forward momentum. And in spite of everything, alone in bed with coffee and a gray sky is still a savory delight.

important to keep flowers in the house for the next few -- who knows how long. maybe to be safe just buy tulips whenever you can. nothing has felt as temporary as it does now.

• leaning into isolation can be a form of coping with long-term isolation
• when you are unable to access heightened emotional states (euphoria, joy), it helps to watch a movie that elicits an emotional extreme that is disconnected from your personal experience (e.g. sob the lil peep documentary on netflix)
• journaling is crucial

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!” - Hunter S. Thompson